Annual picnic in high wind, grab your plate.

Our Club has a bit of a tradition, we eat before we meet.  It is not my favorite thing, as I am not a fan of brunch, but I do like picnics.  This month we had our annual picnic in one of Spokane’s numerous and wonderful neighborhood parks, Comstock park. We were challenged by the weather.

Yum, fresh whole wheat pecan bread

The wind was gusting up to 35mph and we still had fun!  About thirty members and family attended, with the youngest attendee 4 years old, and  the oldest 80 something.  Newest member 1 hour and  longest time members from 1968.  The food was great  and our meeting was lively.

Pat T blowing in the wind with good humor

Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “Not in his goals, but in his transitions is man great.” In my life I have learned quite a bit about transitions. I have transitioned from being a friend, a girlfriend, a fiancé, to being a wife and from being a babysitter, mother-to-be, and then a mother. I have also learned how to evolve from college graduate, stay-at-home mom, sandwich artist, clerk, and newspaper editor. With the writing of this the inaugural edition of Callie’s Chaos, I am starting a new transition, to publisher of The New Stamford American.

Out of five generations of the Richards family, I am now the fourth generation to hold this title. If you lived in the Rule/Rochester area in the 1950s and 1960s, you might remember a friendly newspaper man that always had ink around his nails from spending so much time at a linotype machine and printing press. His name was Alton Richards, he was my grandpa, and he was the owner and publisher of the Rule Review. He came by the profession naturally, his parents, H.R. and Dora Richards as well as his grandfather, W.H. Richards, all helped to bring the Anton News to life. So it appears that the one thing I did inherit from the Richards side of my family was that my blood is full of printer’s ink and tends to run more black than red.

I have picked the name Callie’s Chaos, because that describes my life perfectly most of the time. I once described the word CHAOS as Can’t Have Anyone Over Syndrome. Often my life is an ongoing battle to defeat the ever present dust bunny, monster pile of laundry, and the waste land that is known as the playroom. A wise man once said,” You need chaos in your soul to give birth to a dancing star.” It has been through my various transitions that I have learned that chaos can sometimes be the mother of invention and the thing that helps you to laugh when everything is going wrong and your child has just said the craziest thing you have ever heard.

I hope you will enjoy the journey that we are about embark on together as much as I and my wonderful team have enjoyed putting it together. The New Stamford American wants to be part of the life of Stamford, sharing good things with you, being a part of your lives. And we want you to be a part of American, sharing your good things with us. We are glad to be here. We hope you are glad to have us. We are located on the north side of the square, so come see us.

Going Forth

Today I rode my adult tricycle in a 4th of July Parade.  Tomorrow I will do it again in another town.  (Riding is easier than trying to march, and I don’t trust bicycles anymore.)   I did not ride as a member of the Woman’s Club (although that’s a good reason to be in a parade too), but I participated as a member of a political party.  All too often we look down at politicians, and think of corruption and graft.  But we need to be involved with the political parties if we want them to be honest and above corruption.  We all need to be very aware of public issues and to help elect good people.   We  should help make the changes we feel are necessary from within the system, not from standing outside and complaining.

I’ll never forget my high school civics teacher (Miss Shaw) who taught us that voting is a duty, not just a right.  It is everyone’s duty to read and be a well informed voter.  I’ve lived by that rule and haven’t missed voting in an election in almost 50 years.  I even voted absentee the day I had heart surgery.  (That’s a whole long story in itself.)  After I retired I decided to join a party and not just wish I could do something.  Now I’m the County Chairman.  So I have to go to all the parades and work all the affairs and fund raisers.  And I have to make those phone calls everyone hates.  Sometimes I even knock on strange doors.  I work in the office every two years when we have one, and I give away my money.

I love it!  I love my GFWC work too, but my first love is my political contribution.  I don’t know if I’m on the “right” side.  But at least I’m on SOME side and I care enough to get off my duff and DO something! I don’t intend to run for office, but I want to help get good people elected.

I totally reject the notion that we should never talk politics in polite society!  I think we  have rejected healthy debate and discussion for far too long.  We don’t have to get personal and insulting to have a knowledge of issues and have discussion.  Most of the time people are all too happy to hear the details of the issues and to hear my opinion WHEN I AM WELL INFORMED.  That’s my job.  The internet makes research of issues easy.

Happy Independence Day!  I hope you watched fireworks and a parade somewhere and rejoiced in love for this wonderful country!

Riding in Parade

There were so many good ideas I can’t list them all right now, but here are a few memorable moments for me…

1. Marlene, the convention manager, repremended us for “un-lady-like” behavior in the dinner line! She reminded us that everything we do and say is a reflection on this organization.

2. The women in Wisconsin have done marvelous work for pediatric emergency treatment.

3. When I hear about Girls Town in Missouri I want to cry because of the way these children have been treated. But, I am thankful that Girls Town and GFWC is there to help.

4. We need to develop a lot of mentoring programs.

5. I have to buy Victoria Rowell’s book — there is so much substance to this successful actress, dancer and author.

6. Start a list of “inspirations” .

When we said good bye several of the LEADS 2009 class pledged to keep in touch. I’m sure we will — it’s like we were all ready good friends from the past.

In future posts I’ll give more details, but all of this is just rattling around in my brain right now and I need time to digest it all.

Julie Gibbs, MD GFWC President presents me as the LEADS representative from Maryland

I just made my reservations for the GFWC National Convention in Cleveland and look forward to meeting many of you there! This is my first GFWC convention and I’d appreciate any tips you “old-timers” might have.

I’m also excited that I was chosen as the LEADS candidate for the State of Maryland. This program sounds great and I look forward to finding out more about the GFWC organization. I’ve heard from a few LEADS graduates who plan to attend the LEADS breakfast on Saturday morning, but if you’ll be there please look me up!

Finally, just a note to my Maryland Federation friends — many thanks for your vote of confidence in naming me the LEADS candidate. I promise to take good notes and share whatever I learn!

First thing that I want you to do is close your eyes. I want you to imagine if music was blaring next to your ears, people laughing, cars on the street, music from the speaker in a store. A flashlight is shining right in your eyes, a lemon drop is on your tongue, someone is constantly touching you poking their finger up and down your arms, and the worst smell you can imagine is running up your nose. Doesn’t feel very comfortable right? Well….this is just one example of what it is like to be autistic. Now imagine that the noise is always too soft, no food has any taste, or it never seems to be bright enough for you. Imagine that you can get bit by millions of fire ants and not know it. This is another example of what it is like to be autistic….

 So how can one illness have two totally different types of characteristics. There is a saying that says “There is no “typical” autistic child. No portrait to paint. No two are alike. Like snowflakes, they resemble, yet remain unique. Therein lies the challenge for parents, patients, and physicians.”

Do you know anybody with autism? Chances are you do. It is estimated that 1 in every 150 individuals suffer from some form of autism making it more prevalent than pediatric cancer, diabetics, and AIDS combined. What is autism? Autism is a neurological disorder that impairs an individual’s ability to communicate and relate to others. It can also affect the individual’s ability to perceive the world around them, especially in regard to their senses.

All my life I had viewed autism as Dustin Hoffman’s character on Rain Man. I had vaguely heard the word every now and then on the news, but never had I thought it would affect me. My son, Logan, was a very difficult pregnancy. He was born with the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck and had to be rushed to the Neonatal ICU upon birth. He  made a fast recovery though and continued to develop and grow in the usual fashion of babies. He was such a good baby, he hardly ever cried. Later I would learn that almost every autism parent said the same about their autistic kid. After a very normal development, at 18 months he began to slip. We noticed things about how sensitive he was to noise, things like the vacuum cleaner, washing machine, and even opening a trash bag drove him to screaming fits. We thought this was part of terrible ones. When he turned 2-years-old, I took him in for a baby well check-up and was astonished when the doctor questioned me very thoroughly about Logan’s behaviors….“Did he always talk that way? Did he always turn in circles? Did he always touch everything in the room?” The doctor was very concerned and after a series of developmental tests, meeting with a licensed professional counselor, and a psychologist, I was told that my son either had Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) or that he was autistic. Upon meeting Logan, the psychologist confirmed his diagnosis: PDD-NOS which stands for Pervasive Developmental Disorder, Not Otherwise Specified. In the real world, we call this Autism.

We had a very hard time accepting this until one day at the park Logan was playing and we had loaded up in our car not thinking anything was wrong. About 10 miles down the road I happen to glance down at Logan’s Hand that was swollen with fire ant bites. When I questioned him he just looked at me and said Bad Ants.

I was shocked. As a parent, how would I deal with a child that didn’t play by the same rules as a “normal” child? I quickly learned that even though Logan is a “quirky kid”, he is still my sweet Logan and a blessing. As my step son Anthony would say, “Logan is crazy, but it is an awfully good crazy.” Sometimes his perspective of the world makes the world more unique and enjoyable. Logan is now six, and while he has challenges that surpass what a “normal” kid would deal with, he is thriving and with speech therapy and occupational therapy has learned very well to fit into the world around him. Every day we discover new things that affect Logan while some problems go away.   In fact most people would not guess that he is autistic, unless he is having a quirky day.

Autism was first identified in 1943 by Dr. Leo Kanner of Johns Hopkins Hospital. At the same time, a German scientist, Dr. Hans Asperger, described a milder form of the disorder that is now known as Asperger Syndrome. These are two of the five developmental disorders that fall under the autism spectrum disorders. The others are Rett Syndrome, PDD NOS (Pervasive Developmental Disorder), and Childhood Disintegrative Disorder. All of these disorders are characterized by varying degrees of impairment in communication skills and social abilities, and also by repetitive behaviors.

Autism spectrum disorders can usually be reliably diagnosed by age 3, although new research is pushing back the age of diagnosis to as early as 6 months. Parents are usually the first to notice unusual behaviors in their child or their child’s failure to reach appropriate developmental milestones. Some parents describe a child that seemed different from birth, while others describe a child who was developing normally and then lost skills. Pediatricians may initially dismiss signs of autism, thinking a child will “catch up,” and may advise parents to “wait and see.”

Facts About Autism

• Autism is a developmental disability, which usually begins before 3 years of age and is a life-long disability.
• The incidence of autism is approximately 1 out of every 150 births.
• People with autism have a normal life span.
• Autism is 4-5 times more prevalent in males than in females.
• 67 children are diagnosed per day
• A new case is diagnosed almost every 20 minutes
• Autism is the fastest-growing serious developmental disability in the U.S.

Presently, there is no cure for autism. However, there are various treatment options to help the child cope with the symptoms.

Presently, there is no known single cause for autism. However, autism is not caused environmentally by a child’s upbringing.

Research indicates that people with autism learn best through a structured environment.

Autism occurs in all countries and within all socioeconomic classes.

Research indicates that the earlier the intervention, the better for people with autism.

Siblings of autistic children are 3 times more likely to be autistic.

Autism currently affects over 400,000 people in the U.S.

Now you might want to know about vaccinations and autism….Some people believe that the MMR vaccine you get at 18 months causes autism, because lots of kids start to decline at this age. In our case there is strong evidence to support that genetics was at play.

April is National Autism Awareness Month. I encourage you to learn all you can about this disorder. While there is no cure for autism, education is the first step in combating the problem. Autism is not the tragedy, Ignorance is the tragedy. For more information about autism, check out www.autismspeaks.org. 

Carol visits her father in Florida 1/08

We buried him on February 17th on his 79th birthday.

People have asked me if we were close with him living in Florida and me living in New Hampshire. We were as close as we can be, living that far apart. Phone calls and emails sure helped. He had been in Florida for over 20 years and we (my family) usually saw him once a year on his yearly pilgrimage……..not in the middle of summer but after Labor Day when he could enjoy his stay at Cape Cod, MA.

Last fall he didn’t make it here, so my husband and I visited him and his wife last January 2008. I never thought it would be the last time.

As someone said before me, I’m an orphan, both my parents are gone. My mother has been gone for 20 years.

He rests with dignity and honor after a Marine burial where as the eldest child I received  the American flag. He served with honor in the Korean Conflict.  The 17th was  a clear sunny day in the 30’s and how ironic today, he rests under a fresh blanket of snow. He hadn’t seen snow in over 20 years . He just avoided it ,but always enjoyed joking with us about the balmy weather in Florida when we were in the middle of a snow storm here.

It has been amazing to me how supportive GFWC  has been for me during this time. Starting with phone calls and hugs from my local club members and more emails and cards from state members and more from around the US from  other women who took the time to let me know they cared. This is a marvelous sisterhood. Thank you.

Callie with Logan, 6. Logan was diagnosed with Autism 4 years ago.

I have a confession to make. I suffer from a problem that I am sure many women on this website can identify with. It is one of anxiety. Four years ago I left my husband of five years. There were many problems with the marriage, but the main reason was that our then 2 ½ year old son was diagnosed with autism. This news was like a glass shattering. It was devastating as parents and my ex-husband took the news a lot harder than I did. To him he had lost his son, and this was something he could not and to this day still has not recovered from.

When the decision was made for the boys (I had a 2 ½ year old and 9 month old) and I moved back to Stamford, we did so. We lived with my ex-husbands parents for a while and finally moved into our own little three bedroom house in Stamford. I was a wreck. I had been a stay at home mom for the three years previous to that and I took a job working at the local Subway sandwich shop. About two months after moving there I had my first panic attack. From that point on anxiety had always been a factor in my life. It is like the elephant in the room waiting to jump on me should I get too overwhelmed by life’s daily task.

Recently I have had several health scares and they have brought back the anxiety monster to haunt my days and sometimes my nights. It is sometimes hard to reconcile the woman that takes care of her family, does a very high profile job of being the editor of the local newspaper, as the woman that is laying in her bed at night her body shacking from the latest panic attacks.

If you have ever suffered from this, you know that just telling yourself you aren’t going to give into the anxiety doesn’t do much to correct the problem. For me the answer is the loving support of my husband, Michael and the love of God. There is a wonderful song by the band Superchick, called “Crawl (Carry Me Through)” In it the singer tells about what she does when she is hurting and how when she is crawling through something God is crawling with her and then he carries her through the situation. If not for God carrying me, I am sure that there is no way that the woman could beat the anxiety that lives within her.

If you are dealing with anxiety realize that you are not alone. I think more people than we realize deal with some form or another we are just often afraid by admitting it, we are weak. Honestly after a week like this last one, I feel very weak and tired, but looking into my husband’s eyes and my children’s beautiful faces and I find all new reasons to get through the anxiety.

Allison with NC Senator Kay Hagan

Hi Everyone! I am so excited to report on my recent (and by recent, I mean last week) trip to Washington DC! I traveled with a group of clubwomen from GFWC of North Carolina to visit GFWC’s headquarters and see the sights. It was my first time visiting our headquarters and what an experience that was! However, this post is about my passion in life. If you kept up with the Passion Project last year, you know that I am an advocate for postpartum depression awareness and education. A bill called the Mothers Act was denied by Senate last Summer which would have funded education and awareness as well as a national PR campaign. I can’t tell you how much this is needed! My surprise came in the unexpectedly meeting both Senators from North Carolina. I had a few moments with new Senator Kay Hagan and seized the opportunity. I quickly told her about the Mothers Act (which is being re-introduced this Spring ~ thank you Senator Menendez!) and asked for her support. She was very responsive and I took her card with contact information and plan to follow-up so she will hopefully remember me and most importantly the Bill. I love being an advocate and am looking forward to the day that this legislation is passed!

Callie and Mary Lou

Who is my mentor? My life has been influenced by so many great and wonderful women, but one that sticks out is our local Pierian Club president, Mary Lou Gilbreath. Mary Lou has been part of my life for a very long time.

In fact, I remember at a very young age going over to her house and hanging out with her children. She taught school with my mother, and I was often seen hanging out in her classroom after hours. She dealt with some of the more difficult students, ones with learning disabilities and children that sometimes didn’t fit the model of the average student. She did so tirelessly, and it is thanks to her that the special students always felt special and many of them went on to succeed after leaving her classroom.

Now as a retiree she is the much-needed glue that holds our tiny chapter of the Pierian Club together. She is always graciously opening up her home for executive committee meetings or our regular club meetings.

There have been many times when I felt discouraged, and an e-mail or phone call from her came my way giving me much-needed encouragement. It was she that invited me to join the Pierian Club, an invitation that I gladly accepted.

That is why on this “Thank Your Mentor Day,” I would like to thank Mary Lou Gilbreath.

A few people had influenced my life but if I have to pick one person who I consider a mentor, I’ll pick my dad. I don’t know where to begin to explain about his character. He was the best man I have ever met. He passed away about 17 years ago but I still miss him and wish for his wisdom everyday.

My dad lost his parents in a young age and had to take care of his brothers and sister. They all turned out very successful people and all because of my dad’s thoughtfulness and generosity. He was indeed very generous person. I don’t think I know anyone like him. I remember when I was a little girl and he was in charge of accounting for a huge factory. When he found out that one of the poor workers has a daughter who is getting married and the father had no money for the dowry, my dad provided the family everything they needed for the wedding out of his own pocket.

My dad always taught me to be generous and thoughtful and take care of people. He used to say life is full of opportunities and you should take advantage of them but with hard work. He always provided us with everything we needed but expected us to work hard to keep the things we wanted. He also taught me to never give up. I think because he never gave up on anything. Even if there was a hard time in our life, he would never let us see it.  He loved “LIFE” and I think that is the most important lesson I have learned.

Thank you dad for being my father and my friend.

Allison and Beverly at GFWC's 2008 Convention in Chicago

Happy Winter!!! I hope you are staying warm! BRRRR. It is positively Arctic here in North Carolina. Nine whole degrees this morning! This is the time to take advantage of the required indoor reading time although my reading time consists of magazines and news updates online!

Oh! Speaking of online, if you are familiar with Facebook please log on and join the GFWC group! There are over 300 members signed up. What a great way to chat with other Federation members, network and share club ideas! I know I’ve already talked before about the value in connecting with our Federation counterparts whether it’s a Junior, Juniorette or General club. I have found that their advice and fresh eyes are so important to have.

As January 22 is Thank Your Mentor Day we have been asked to write about our mentors. When I began the “My Volunteer Year” blog last year, I wrote about my mentor Beverly Lassiter. Well, nothing has changed except that our relationship is one year older, wiser and closer. I first met Bev in 2007 when I was selected as NC’s LEADS participant. She was heading up the LEADS program and training and immediately I knew that she was somebody special.

You see, Bev has this infectious enthusiam by nature but her love and her life (aside from her family) is GFWC. She has an enormous heart for our Federation coupled with knowledge and years of service. She loves GFWC and she knows GFWC. It completely rubbed off on me and to my good fortune Beverly took me under her wing and has been my mentor since then. I aspire to be like her although I may never have a resume like hers. I don’t think I ever asked her or told her she was my mentor but she is. I look to her (even if she doesn’t know it) for so much. For advice on public speaking, handling conflict, how to prioritize, “do I need this dress?” etc. Much of the time I just observe and watch her and learn from how she handles herself. You would never know that her shoes are killing her feet because she still has a smile on her face and handles the task.

This has spilled over to my family life too. She has created a diversion for my 3 year old so I could finish my lunch (she always has pennies on hand for the fountain) and has fed my newborn so I could leisurely enjoy my mac and cheese vegetable plate. She’ll tell me when to let something go or to go for it! I have never told her this but I try very hard to make her proud. I am so proud of her and the fantastic work she does for NC. Now that I think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever thanked her!

So let’s make this official – Thank you Beverly for your friendship leadership and love. I hope that I can make you as proud of me as I am of you.